You do not know this person anymore, she is a stranger to you. you will need to go throguh some phases with her to reapir your marriage. You will not need to do any of it while she is with him. She is moving on and so should you. Nothing I do is about her or for her. It is for me, my kids, my dog, the bird my friends....Not HER!. I love my W very much. She continues on with OM because she feels this is where she needs to be to be happy. whatever (hate that word)! I have forgiven a lot of what she has done. But I will not entertain being friends with her outside of these family gatherings until he is gone. My life is good without her. It would be better with her, but I cannot and will not hang my hat on it. God has talked to me, He has shown me things about myself I never realized. He has given me strength I did not know I had. He has shown me patience I never had and He has shown me true forgiveness. I have learned the power of prayer and I have learned to believe in myself again. I am very confident, have strong self esteem and I am very independent. She is not confident, licves in a world of self lies and self justification, has no independence worth bragging about and low self esteem. She has not rationlized her life and her choices because she has not realized these are mistakes. Her father told her the other night she is screwing her life up and making the ultimate mistake. I explained to him that she is not in a rational world right now. His GF told him the same thing. We both told him that when she does get to that point she will fall hard. You need to realize that your W may or may not really want to be friends. My guess is it is just antoher way for you to enable her life. If you are not comfortable being friends, then don't. If she is with OM, you are out. That is the short of it. You are out. I am out. We are out. I give you this, at the end of tis lesson, we are the prize. We will become the best people we can be because we need to reiscover ourselves and find the true self. To be the type of person we like, to be the type of person we would want to know, to be the person who can change peoples lives by just being involved in theirs. This is true self. I have done it. It is not hard. It is painful, but not hard. And once you discover yourself, staying true to yourself is very easy.
