Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6

[sandi2]

Well, well, well, don't I have smart "Sweeties"? I tell you, I am down right proud! All this fine advice you all are giving one another.....shoot, I don't even feel needed anymore....lol. Feel like a proud Mama. Tawnya, I told you to be on the lookout for a former friend. Glad you two met up. I also told Amy. Let's see if she caught on....lol.

I won't keep you up all night....er...day now....with a long post cause I think I have pushed my Christmas luck and need to get me big self in the bed. Just want to say this to ALL OF YOU HER ON TAWNYA'S THREAD.........STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE MARRIED. Now take that in the right context. I don't mean to go out and hit the bar scene and find somebody to mess around with. I mean your attitude.......stop acting like you are married to your spouse and treat them like you would .......well, since some of your stitch's are different, I better be careful as to tell you how to treat them like.....I think since most of you are not on too friendly of terms right now, I would say treat them more like they were an unwanted guest in your house.....if they are still there. If they have left your house, it makes it easier to treat them like you would another person on the street....lol. Remember, when they make you lose your cool.....they have won. Just like in parenting.....if a kid makes you lose your temper....and even if you punish the child.....he has won b/c you gave up your control. It is a battle of the wills. Same principle applies to your stitch.

Most of all, don't take any crap what-so-ever and demand respect. That is an absolutely must! You do not have to stay under the same roof with somebody that does not respect you anymore than that. It made me furious at the answer Tawnya's H gave her. You may have to look up Puppy to get some ideas about consequences Tawnya if H continues to be so disrespectful. I would keep my distance as best as i could until he leaves....if he really does. Why is he prolonging? Would you still want him after all of this? Be honest....don't say what you think I want you to say. But, I think you are quickly learning to stand up to him and stand up for your respect. He just hasn't been made a believer yet.

As far as talking to D18, she is smart. She knows what is going on and she knows where you stand. I know you want her to have the right ideas about what M is all about, etc. Right now, she is watching you to see how you are going to deal with how her dad is treating you. Also, that son of yours will learn how to treat women in the future (including his own wife) by watching this played out before him. So, for both of their sakes, you have to show that a woman can not be bullied, disrespected or cheated on and get away with it. I would not even start to try to defend their dad to protect their R with him.....that is not your job. Besides, it would confuse them b/c I'm sure S12 is pretty sharp about what's going on. He just isn't talking. If your H does leave, then I would sit down with your D18 and ask her how much she knows. Then confirm what she says is the truth. Don't try to cover up b/c she deserves to know. Then I would sit down with S12 and tell him that his dad left you.....not them.....(which he really did, but you can't tell S12 that) and explain in a way that isn't too graphic what is going on and that it isn't right for a M person to do that and so the two of you had to go separate ways. Well....do it your own way, why am I telling you what to say? I just know that with your sweet and giving and forgiving ways that I am afraid that you'll try to cover up for that jerk and he doesn't need anyone to do that. He needs to be held accountable for his actions. Normally, in most cases, I believe in trying to keep this sort of thing private between the couple, but the way he is treating you.....and as old as your kids are......if he leaves.....tell them. (Hey Puppy.....did you hear that???) Like I said, I am coming around.....to some cases...lol. If they are going to be open with the A and so disrespectful to you, then let him have it.

Okay, I promised a short post, didn't I? Now, it is almost 2:00 a.m.

Catch you all later,
Sandi