Lord, why do WAS think it is so much easier to walk away to a "new life with greener pastures"?
Why don't they realize they should instead work on their existing life ?
Why can't they learn it will not go away when there are children involved ?
Why don't they understand their decisions are far more reaching and harmful than their own selfish wants ?
SingleDad, I think I can answer those questions, but knowing me I would take all night....er....day...since it is almost 1:30 a.m.
To make it short, they are living in a fantasy. They hate their real life and want to exchange it or throw it away and get a new one b/c it is easier, to them, to start over with a brand new person. They think it will be oh so different and better with that new person and new R. They are so deep in fog until they cannot think logically. The excitment of the A is what keeps them running on "high energy" all the time. But, if they were to get M and have to deal with the kids and bills and "reality" for a change.....they would discover they have the same R that they had with the LBS. They are in "dreamland" and you can't wake them up or reason with them. They have to learn the hard way, most of them anyway, and by the time they do come out of the fog, they have messed their lives up, plus their children's and their LBS......unless the LBS decides to move forward and not allow the WAS to control their happiness and their future.
I knew you already knew all of that, and that those questions were out of pure frustatration, but wanted you to know the post was recognized. As a former AWAW, it was LBH's like yourself that I begin to see the pain and it actually helped me to realize how much pain I had caused my own H. You see, he kept it hidden from me. Unlike a lot of H's, he did not plead with me or anything like that......I only saw his anger and him treating me like a child and I resented it highly and reacted to it badly. So, your pain expressed here on the board might help another AWAW to decide to stay home.
God Bless and take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
