Hi ya {{{PDT/Denny Crane}}} Hope you are having a blessed Christmas..and that you get to have a cigar on the balcony and enjoy your day..YOU deserve the best!!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Hiya Saffie! I've been following Bomb's sitch all along.
My Christmas was AWESOME, but now reality is setting in. Lots of tears and hugs and second-guessing here this morning. We've been SO busy, cleaning the house, shopping, decorating, baking, getting ready for the company that was all here last night (16 people), that I don't think either one of us have had much time to fully consider the enormity of what we're about to do.
Ours is a weird dynamic. We have a strong friendship, and a VERY strong, loving family, but yet a very dysfunctional marriage when it comes to intimacy.
Our D19 was crying last night to her mother. The boys still don't know. This is horrible. How can two people who have so much, and who even have a good friendship, no abuse, no drugs, no alcohol, no gambling problems . . . not even any more infidelity . . . not be able to make it work????
It just plain sucks. We had what some would call a "normal" Christmas too with weird undertones as the whole family knew; but no one talked about it until late last night.
It makes me sad that my family unit has broken down and we can act "friendly" yet know we're breaking it up. Just plain strange man.
Awwww Puppy, I'm so sorry. It doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? And yet, it does--it sounds like a great family, a great friendship, but not a great passion. And passion is such a fragile thing. It feels deceptively strong and powerful, but in reality it's quite delicate. And once it's gone, it's so hard to revive. (I believe it has a lot to do with vulnerability, or at least it did for me.) And yet, all the rest is supported by that.
I hope that somehow, someday you rediscover passion.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
I just wanted to drop in to say Merry belated Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope you had a nice holiday (forgive me, I haven't had a chance to read the posts). Anyhow, I will likely be out of touch for the next week, so have a great New Year. God Bless.
Ours is a weird dynamic. We have a strong friendship, and a VERY strong, loving family, but yet a very dysfunctional marriage when it comes to intimacy.
Puppy
But you know intimacy is a huge part of marriage, or at least should be in a good marriage I think. So I think that can be as big a problem as abuse, drugs, infidelity. I know it's frustrating. But on the other hand you have a great R for the future; great for the kids to see parents that are getting along and friendly I think. I try to do that, but it's very hard sometimes.
And I know you've learned a lot from this experience as have I. Not only have we worked on ourselves, but I think in the future I will be very careful with whom I have a close R with. I mean when I was 21 and met H, the main thing I was looking for was cute!!! I mean have grown so incredibly much since then. Now I will look for someone that I can trust, will be kind, honest, like my kids, and someone I can be intimate with. Maybe this time I will be too picky, but wasn't at all the first time around really. Karen
My friend {{{Puppy}}} I wish I had words to say that would make this make sense or wave a wand and make it okay, because I would do it for you in a SECOND..you've given so much in your fight, in your marriage, and on these boards to us..I wish I could give something back to help you..but this is all I have
That and a "my name is Denny Crane"
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I just read this thread. It's so weird how alike all of our stories are. What happens to passion? Can you keep it alive forever? Is that what love is about? I don't think so. I think that love evolves and grows deeper over the years. I mean, definitely used to enjoy intimacy with my W, but she started saying that we didn't have any passion. Even through all of the horrible things that have gone on between us over the past few months we still love each other, we still have great family times, and yet my W still does not want to save our marriage. I just can't figure it out either... If you do please share the answer with the rest of us!
My friend {{{Puppy}}} I wish I had words to say that would make this make sense or wave a wand and make it okay, because I would do it for you in a SECOND..you've given so much in your fight, in your marriage, and on these boards to us..I wish I could give something back to help you..but this is all I have
