Well, another Christmas has passed and I am still in limbo. I promised myself that last year would be the last Christmas spent in this way and I broke that promise.
H was here, as was my sister and her family. He did not seem to want to be here. I dont really know why he was. I guess for our son, though last year he was with ow - son didnt seem to matter then.
I feel my h is getting further and further away. I can sense that he is done with the marriage. We are just two people living in the same house. No anger, just existing.
I do not want another year to go by like the last. I know a lot of people feel that it is better if they are in the home, but for me, I dont think it is.
I am uncomfortable, and so is he. I think my son is also. His dad sleeps downstairs on the couch. He sees us acting like good neighbors and it bothers him.
So, I need to take the next step. H has to leave because I cannot move forward on this journey while he is here. I am sad about it, but I just dont think there is much hope at this point.
I have to figure out what I want out of life, what I can offer to this world and help my son through this and onto his next step in life. There needs to be some kind of movement and I need to file. I am ruined financially and I have to start to build up my finances somehow.
