It's Complicated! Part 2

[glamgirl]

Thanks MWG. It was a nice suprise. I could get wrapped up in the fact that h is not coming on Christmas Day, but why.

He is making baby steps and maybe this is all that he can handle at the moment. I just can't allow myself to be sad, at least he chose to come out for a few hours. I am sure this must have been extremely difficult for him.

I am not in his head or shoes, so I can not judge what is going on with him internally. On the outside he seemed good tonight.

[job]

Glam,
Well, well, well...miracles do happen! I'm very happy to see that you h put in an appearance. It took a lot for him to come over. Now, he's advised you that he would be in his hole sleeping today.....let him be. One gold star for him!

About your first xh, you know, after what you shared, I'm thinking he may now be in recovery or has been for a while and is reaching out to make amends. I'm sure he realizes he screwed up big time all those years ago and as 25 pointed out, he may be ill or worse dying. But, let's not go there today. I do think it would be interesting to see just what he wants. Nothing says that after the initial contact you would have to stay in touch. That would be between him and your son.

Glam, I'm very happy that Christmas turned around just a bit for you. You were so worried and disappointed, but when you put the disappointment aside, went on w/what you had to do, the man upstairs came through for you and your family. Never doubt him. There are reasons for what he does....maybe to get you to seek assistance elsewhere or make you stronger in the process. I just don't know. But, for whatever the reason, his presence was w/you on Christmas Eve.

I do hope you'll think about contacting your xsil. I think it would be interesting to see just what is going on.

Enjoy your sister's visit. Merry Christmas!

[plentyhope]

GG, I am so happy for you that your H showed up. See - it did happen after all, even if it was for Christmas Eve. God does work miracles! Enjoy your day with sis and the kids.

[25yearsmlc]

GG,

Your history with xh explains a lot. Glad he's trying to make amends and I hope it's his recovery, not recovery + illness, that caused it, but either way it's a Godly event. Better yet, his family reached out too, so it seems like a change that's more than skin deep. They wouldn't have called you on some "drunk dialing" type of thing.

Your h showed up for Christmas Eve, the kids got to see him and he shared in the moment. He may be holed up now, but he knows where the fun times are and that he's missing them....NOT YOUR PROBLEM....YOU, are to have a great day with your children, who are also to do so.....

One thing though, I'd have freaked if my h weren't living at home and just walked in like that...thank God your SISTER wasn't the one just out of the shower!!

But it sounds as if he got a warm reception and NO pressure (right? No disappointed pouting about him not calling sooner or not being there today or anything...and please==== NO calling or texts now, right?? You already wished him a Merry Christmas and so did the kids. Let HIM call them....and if he doesn't then don't worry about it. If the kids (not you) want to tell him what they got AND IF they cannot wait, let THEM call him briefly to do so. But YOU have no reason to call him today, right? To the WAS, that is pressure) But what's great is that you are doing the Contrast the warmth and familliarity and loving home, with the "exciting....COLD unfamiliar world out there- and that helps you. No matter where he is, he'll know that.

Plus it makes your place the fun place, for your kids, your sister, and YOU.
Merry Christmas!

H and I are waiting for kids to get up...this is a historic first. Where the heck are they? I'm dying for my coffee. Must not breach Santa protocol but I NEED my coffee...
(( j ))

[Maya44]

I'm so glad he showed up for a bit GG. He's thinking of you for sure then! MERRY CHRISTMAS GG!!!!

[a new 2moro]

a christmas miracle!!!!! GG Im soooooo happy for you!!!!

[glamgirl]

Ok so what a weird surreal evening. I decided to call ex's sis. They were so excited to hear from me and said that they were trying to find me for years. Ex had 3 bros and 2 sis's. I spoke to almost all of them.

I got the update on their lives. It felt good that they thought of me often throughout the years. They did ask why I had been hiding all these years. I really had not thought I had been hiding, just that I went on with my life.

Then for the shocker. Ex h wanted to talk to me. I was a little bit nervous, but took the call anyway. As soon as the convo began he was crying so hard I could hardly understand what he was saying.

He said that he was so sorry for everything. He said he missed me and s20. He mentioned that he had a s8. I didn't get a chance to ask if he was m or what. H just kept saying over and over how sorry he was and just kept crying. He was so overwhelmed with emotion.

I just said ex I forgive you. I hold nothing against you. He did say something about s20 coming to visit him. Then he spoke to s20. S20 is such a great sport. He spoke to him, but remember ex has not been in his life for 14 years, so there really is not much history to remember.

Ex also said that he wanted so much to contact me, but that he was afraid. I just hope that his conscience can now heal and he has found some peace. I truly did love this man so much at one time in my life. I would have done anything for him. Not sure where this will lead to, but his family wants to see me and s20. I would like to see them too.

Never heard from h today. We will expect him tomorrow around 3pm if all goes well.

[glamgirl]

Sitting here drinking a glass of wine and thinking what a crazy Christmas. H showing up and then not hearing from him today. Then ex h just reappearing in my life with all the drama now. His family is calling back and now the drama is all unfolding.

Not sure how much I can be sucked into it all. His family has always been a bit on the dramatic side.

I am a bit shook up about my ex h, it was so weird speaking to him and him crying so much. Not sure what he is expecting or wanting from me. He had such a foot hold on my life back then. It took everything I had in me to break away.

[glamgirl]

Also recieved some phone calls today from friends and family. It was nice to hear from h's family. They are so kind to me and the kids and love us dearly.

Then I heard from a good friend, he was so nice and wished me and the kids a very nice Christmas. Not so sure what the intent is there.

Now I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the convos' today. I seem a bit confused. I guess that is what the holidays will do to you.

Can't wait to take the tree down and get back a more normal life.

[MidwesternGirl]

Are you going to tell your h that you spoke to ex h's family as well as ex h? I do not think your h will handle it very well, do you? Does xh know you are remarried with children?

I think for your S20, this has been a good day for him as he may get to see the father he has had no contact with for several years. How exciting is that?

You have had quite an interesting day!