Well as it's Christmas now I assume you will be doing something other than checking the boards, but I wanted to check in on you anyway...I hope you are feeling better today!
As you're on the DB board, we're all going to tell you to hang in there, stick it out, that the hard work should be worth it etc. I am not any different in this, but in terms of your question, "how do I know when to get rid of him," of course that is your decision, and your decision alone. You have to decide whether you can deal with this (hopefully) short-term pain for a longer-term gain. There isn't a set breaking point based on time and specific actions, and it seems that even when the LBS hits a breaking point, the WAS often comes back, just look at Kalni's sitch...
I still think that many of the behaviors that you don't appreciate about your H are related to age and maturity, and that they would not be unique to him, and moreover will likely be traits that he will grow out of. Of course only you can decide whether to take a gamble on things improving over time, and only you can decide how long you can deal with things the way that they are.
I'm really sorry about your living situation. My hunch is that if you were actually with your H, a lot of these obstacles would seem more surmountable. I know it must be tough being stuck with your parents, and not having enough money to move forward. While it sounds like your H isn't showing it, my bet is that he is really unhappy about not being able to provide for you. I am not implying that he is handling things in the best way, only that it must be having an effect on him as well.
So let's say that you find a job first. Will this be enough to move you into a place of your own, a place where your H can stay? Are there any short-term solutions? I don't really understand what your H's living situation is like. Would it be at all feasible for you to stay with him? I know it feels like you are stuck, but there must be some way forward, whether you choose to move forward with him or not. Do you have mutual friends or family in another place that you could stay at together for awhile until you land on your feet?
Thinking of you and hoping things are improving today...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
