I'll steal Tawnya's place, and share with you something that I always come back to:
The OM/OW can only provide that wonderful feeling for so long - usually if OM/OW is OK being with someone that's married they probably don't have much scruples anyone, and if you are who you want to be for YOURSELF, they will start to see the differences.
For example, in the past month and a half, I have lost 16 pounds. Every time I know W is coming over, I have on a nice shirt, hair combed, shaved, cologne on, and the house is completely spotless if at all possible. Not really doing it FOR her, but I want her to see me in control, and looking good. What possible attraction would you hold for spouse if you are unshaven, (legs in lady's case), frazzle headed, grumpy, down at the mouth, and red-eyed?
I mean you wouldn't be caught dead in public, but you hang onto spouse's leg looking bedraggled, and expect them to swoon? Same applies emotionally - if you are whining, crying, begging, pleading
Here is my point - you may be absolutely gorgeous - don't get me wrong. But when you start to focus on yourself, and wanting to look good, and focus on life, and the things that make you happy, SLOWLY but surely, things will start to swing around.
I have been "detached" for about one stinkin' week now, and the difference is unbelievable. I used to be consumed with looking at checking account, asking about potential OM, finding out if W was working so I was sure she wasn't with OM, and it was stupid! I got fat, lazy, and depressed!
Now, I have to fight off women every time I go out in the streets. (Not really, but I have gotten a couple of looks) Although I would never look at another woman, the self-esteem building is huge...
OK, that was a complete ramble, but I hope it made sense.
