I will be great no matter what happens. I'm not defined by having a wife. I have always been defined by my actions. As a rule in my life I have usually put the needs of others ahead of my own.
Does that make me a fool? A martyr? No.
It makes me a good man.
I have many regrets of the past few years. I also have many great memories.
Today I was presented with the opportunity to help a friend who was in financial need. He didn't ask for help because he's a true Alpha Male and wouldn't think of that. He's also a brother in life. I'm blessed that I could be there for him.
W came over to pick up her recipe for Lasagna so she could make it for the girls tomorrow at 'her' house. Every Christmas she makes Lasagna - a tradition that dates back to when we were dating and she made it specially for me because knows it's my favorite thing she makes. I don't think she remembers the reason it became our Christmas dinner, it's just habit now.
Tomorrow is Christmas, a day of celebration and rebirth. I'm not waiting until New Years to make commitments. I think the day of the Birth of Christ is a much better day to start on.
Thanks to all my friends who have watched me crash and cycle as I came to the realization that my marriage can not be saved, and maybe it should not be saved.
However, I can be saved and I SHOULD be saved. Kind of like in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life". What if I hadn't been born? Who would have created the company that provided the jumping off point for so many others? Who would have encouraged my W over the years to try different things?
Who would have been able to be there for friends who were in need? Yes, I spent a long time 'lost'. Now I'm found.
This is who God wanted me to be, and still does. This is who I am.
