"A very smart woman told me that my hub had to say those things to justify this to himself..so that is what I will choose to believe."
Hi Tawnya,
I've never posted to you before, but I saw your name in Wifey's thread. I just wanted to pop in here and wish you a merry Christmas. I've not read much of your thread, so please forgive me if this is out of touch, but I would like to comment on the above quote.
I have had people tell me the same exact thing about my H when he says negative things. And, I believed them! I do know now though, that most of the people who said that are not in my H's head. They are not counselors. They are only saying what they believe.
This journey is all about us and our spouses, not the "other" people, usually. Anyway, before I stray too far from my point, I just wanted to let you know that I now, personally, believe that when my H says negative things or reacts to me in disgust it is because he is spinning out of control and does not KNOW what he is saying, or how it sounds to me. Here is a secret between you and me. I saw him this morning. He drove by my house, which is supposed to be a no-no. I asked him "What are you doing here." He said, "I've come to get the mail. There hasn't been any in days. You don't have it do you?" I said no. But, he reacted with disbelief.
I said "Merry Christmas" to him, but he only responded with "Yeah right." And then he drove away. I realized then, that this is his 'stuff,' not mine, and I will not own it anymore.
