For the Guy with Kids and a WW Twenty Two

[hopeful4her]

Was ALREADY having a hard day this morning. Just emotional on the way into work. Better now that I dug in at work.

I had pretty much decided that I DON'T want to be married to the wife anymore, because she doesn't deserve me, but I can't be the one to file.

I don't see any kind of fairy tale ending for us. I think that she just has no attraction to me anymore. She is just unwilling to find that in me anymore.

Two years ago, when our crap started, I begged and pleaded. She was 'gone' for about 2 months. She went through her 'party girl' phase. Early November of 2006, she decided to give us another chance and told me she would give it maybe a year to see.

She didn't really give it a full year, but, in her mind, she has already given us another chance, and she just couldn't find it in her anymore.

She is going to miss me as a best friend, but not as a husband.

I am sad about my family, mostly. The changes that the kids and I have to endure. And of course, its the holidays.

I plan on going to 11pm service at church tonight, just as we did as a family last year, only this time, it will be just me and the girls.

In the middle of typing this, she forwarded me an email.

She never called me last night like she said she was. Of course, I expected nothing less. I didn't plan on answering it anyway.

Her email was one of those that people forward. About the similarites between President Lincoln and President Kennedy and not sent as a group forward from her, just me.




MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!!

And here's to a great New Year.
We F'ing deserve it.