We just went to see my mother and brother, to take them out to Sunday dinner, as well as swap Christmas gifts. Driving to the restauraunt there was even some handholding by W and I. (Don't know that this is a significant sign of anything) My mother noted my W isn't acting any differently than normal. In retrospect, I've been trying to figure out where I have contributed to this. I am doing the best I can to balance this. It's tough to be open and receptive but, avoid pressuring. I appreciate all your input, believe me, I'm listening to you all.
Ral, Merry Christmas, God be with you. Take it one day at a time.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
Hi R2C, Thanks for being there. Everything seems to be about the same. I think the W is still working things out. There is still no effort from her as far as affection but, she will return it. Conversation is normal, we talk, but there is no affection in it. I'm being supportive and open.
Just had a long talk with the W. She states she is just numb and doesn't feel the same. She doesn't know if she'll ever be able to love me again. She just can't answer anything because she doesn't know. We've tabled it for now.
Look, I know it's tough, but to keep talking with her about this will not stop it, change it, make it go away or make it better.
As hard as it is you have to carry on as if you are happy, confident and content. Words will not do much good if any. You have to show her. If she brings anything up then validate the way she feels and show her you are understanding. Do not offer advice unless asked to and do not sit a dwell on the subject. The more you do the worse it will get.
Now is the time to really focus on improving yourself.
Seriously Ral, this is one of those real pieces of advice that everyone should be saying to you. STOP FORCING HER TO TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP! It will NOT go well for you or her.
You are pushing for answers, and when you do that to someone you usually get the BAD answers.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
