Thanks so much. I am really trying to embrace this little lesson on a bigger scale. Letting go can bring good things.
I really want to try to implement this to the whole relationship/situation. I am getting there slowly. But it is tricky because of the depression component and my coach's advice that I have to keep reaching out to him for now.
I'll just have to keep finding a balance.
Tomorrow's challenge: not asking him to do something on New Year's Eve. Just have to go with the gut and the gut says that is too much too soon. And, it is a sympbolic night. I think the the better plan is to just stick to my latest plan, Friday emails asking for a lunch, a walk or a movie the following Saturday.
Though I am curious if he has plans. Curiosity killed the cat, right?
Well, I'll be a bit MIA for the next 36 hours (like many people I suppose). Going to my sister's house this afternoon. Then my wife invited me to stop by her side of the family's celebration tonight.
The plan is for us to attend midnight mass tonight as a family (incl wife!). Kids will transfer to me after mass and spend the night at my house.
Wife will come over in the morning for Santa time.
Then tommorrow afternoon with my family.
Should be very nice. Merry Christmas, Everyone!
Hope your day goes well V!
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
So...Veronica... What you described in terms of just letting things go is exactly the kind of thinking I was thinking about. I had something similar happen with me regarding the pageant tickets for S2. Normally, I would have asked W about it, and reminded her to get them, and then asked her for the directions each time she forgot to bring them by - this time, I didn't ask about the tickets or the directions - after she mentioned them, I just left it up to her how she would handle it - and she did finally get the tickets and email me the directions...we didn't go to the pageant because S2 was still under the weather, but it was interesting nonetheless to see her step up and take care of it...which never used to happen...
Your gut must be tuned up right for the winter or something...since I don't think the gut response would work for everyone in your situation - good for you, though, in trusting yourself - and I imagine that trust comes through in your actions - which, in turn, lets your H feel more comfortable with you. Isn't trust a major issue in depression and MLC? Trusting yourself, exuding that trust, must send out a very strong signal.
And, yes, I agree that too much too soon could be risky - and scare him away...if he brings up New Year's Eve would you accept? I imagine so - but I wonder about that notion of accepting some offers to do things together, but not all...in your case, it seems like accepting offers from him would be best, no?
Keep that positive energy flowing, V. Merry Christmas.
