Thank you for your kind words. I took your advice and have not contacted him.
I have been caving a bit lately, trying to gather myself a little in preparation for what may be quite an emotional period this coming year, with making decisions about the house etc. I know that will be hard so while he is away I am getting my strength together.
I had a letter through from the car finance people to say that my account was closed. He has sorted it without me being involved and there has been no communication, although I suppose there didn't need to be as I said it was ok for him to sell the car. I had to restrain myself from sending him a text that would have been full of venom! I called the finance people and just checked that everything was all settled and that there was nothing against my name and there isn't so I suppose that is all ok. I think I will bring it up next time I am seeing him though that anything that is remotely to do with me and my finance I want to be kept fully abreast of.
The second thing was I was in two minds as to whether to send MIL and FIL a Christmas card. I decided to for the last time as I have no problem, and it is their issue if they do. It just said Happy Christmas and then a small note saying I was sorry to hear that FIL had not been well, I hoped that he was on his way to recovery. They sent one back this morning in reply with a picture of the puppy saying,
'Dear J
It was lovely to hear from you. We think of you often. Thanks for your concern! I had the knee op last week and am now well on my way to recovery.
With love FIL and MIL'
So I am pleased I did that. It is also nice to know they think of me, I don't doubt this to be true. I understand their position and that they probably feel very uncomfortable about the whole thing. Hmmmm... It has made me a little sad. This is a stupid and pointless situation and one I can only do my best with and try and act with dignity and integrity.
So, life news and goss. I went to a party on Sat night which was lots of fun; I was pretty hung-over the next day. Then on Sunday I went out on a date with a guy I used to work with. That was lots of fun and great for the self-esteem. We just spent the time walking round different bits of London and he took me out for a nice meal. He paid me lots of compliments and followed it up with an email saying it had been nice to see me - this is good as he is a man of few words! I may see him again in January. These past few days I have been shopping for Christmas and met up with BFF that I went on holiday with and haven't seen since. I told her about H moving in with ow and she was just really incredulous. She couldn't believe what an idiot he is being - her words. I also told my other sister last night who reacted in much the same way. she did say that lots of things about his behaviour last year made sense now, which is true but I am not going down that road, past is past. I don't need to re-hash! The last person I have to tell now is my mother and that will be very hard. I will do it after Christmas so it doesn't ruin it for her.
I hope/ think I will be fine this Christmas. I have a really good friend coming round tonight for some drinks then my sister will pick me up Christmas morning and take me over to my parents then I will spend Boxing Day with my other sister watching DVDs. I'm wondering should I text h to say Happy Christmas or not? I would not do this till late in the evening in any case.
I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone on this board. I would not have survived this as I have without all you guys and your wonderful support. Here is to a happy and successful 2009!
Last weekend sure does sound like fun. Good for you on the date! Sounds like some good interaction and a good PMA boost.
IMHO - H doesn't deserve a moment of your time regarding Christmas. He would have to earn your attention Julia and he hasn't even attempted to do that.
Have a wonderful time with your family and friends. Don't imbibe too much and have a marvelous time!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Christmas was great. Lots of family fun and I can report no thoughts of h really at all.
I got a text from him on Christmas Day which was really unexpected. He sent it in the afternoon, I replied in the evening. His text said
'Hi, just wanted to wish you a happy christmas. I hope you're having a good day. Wish Maple a happy christmas from me too.'
I just replied, 'Happy Christmas, I hope Christmas dinner was scrummy' (his mum is the best cook in the world and it is his favourite part of Christmas!). I am not interpreting the text, I am pleased that he thought of me enough to send me a text. Let's see what the New Year brings. It really helps to have no expectations! Then it is just a nice surprise if something happens.
Just wanted to share the first nice gesture from him for a long while...
Hey Julia!!! Good to hear that your holiday went well! That was a nice text from your H (he's still thinking of you). Nice that he text you 1st & you gave a nice reply. Keep breaking down those walls!!
Your date sounds very nice. Good for you, keep the PMA going. You are doing wonderful at not letting him control your happiness
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
A *very* belated thank you for your megahelpful post on my thread. thank youthankyouthankyouthank you!! I am so excited to hear that you had a good christmas. that is awesome!! I love how you handled the text too!!! it is SO hard to really have no expectations but when we do it (oh so ironically) seems help them be free to reach out. GOOD JOB!
