GG, 25Years has given you excellent advice and her posting is spot on. Your h has run right back up into the tunnel and many of them do for this particular holiday more than others. Why? Because it's a family time, time for fun, laughter, happiness and togetherness. Your h isn't far enough along yet to enjoy this holiday (again) yet. He thought he was and he did try to put his best foot forward, but then got cold feet. I noticed he said he would see you over the weekend. He's waiting until the holiday is over and your sister has returned home. He's just not ready to face the family scene of the holiday. He's also giving you time to cool down as well.
When you do have contact w/him, remain, cool and calm. Yes, he screwed up and disappointed you, but you survived and the holiday was "saved". Let it go and just be friendly, but don't volunteer a lot of information about what you and your family did. If he asks about the holiday, keep the answers rather casual. I would venture to say he will stay holed up in his little place and keep his head covered up today and tomorrow. He's not happy w/himself and what he's done, believe me on that one.
As for you, continue to move forward and look to 2009 for new resolutions. One of them being the best you can be and yes, more detaching and leaving him at the curb. It's time that you live your life to the fullest and do not wait on him. If he truly wants to be w/his family, he will do what is necessary to start running to catch up w/you and your children.
Enjoy the holiday w/your family! That's what is important right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
