Beth - I did want to say something about the MLC because I think it's a big basket of symptoms and behaviours that can't be treated "en bloc".
My general sense is this: these guys (mostly men) get to a point where they wonder what it's all about, what's left, what they didn't do and why not. They want to change something and their m is often what seems easiest to change. For the more responsible ones, walking away from a job they are unhappy with feels more frightening. My h has been unhappy in his job for years; he'd rather leave the m than leave h is job.
I don't think he's depressed anymore; he feels freer, definitely very self-aborbed and now has the balm of the ow's attention and interest. For my h, it's a pretty compelling package so why would he even think of returning to the m? I sometimes get the sense that he feels he might be on the cusp of that wonderful feeling of "anything might now be possible in his life". The feeling of a much younger man (he's 50), but intoxicating and compelling.
