SOOOO..hub comes upstairs and says "how was your trip" and I'm like, "Fine, but I had to come home early cause I didn't feel good" and didn't ask about his trip, he didn't say anything about me not feeling good..whatever
OK..so then, he hands me some receipts and I'm like "why are there receipts from OUR account when you took this trip with your OWN account money"..so there we go..ding ding..the bell has rung and the fight has begun...
HOWEVER, at the end of our money portion of our discussion, yes there were portions, LOL, I said, "you know what, IF I Have to work 5 jobs in order to not have you holding $$ over my head, that is what I will do..because I DON"T want to fight about that anymore"..
So then he told me how his family was basically fine, except for his sister, about the OW being there, that he took her to their house and they were all nice to her..makes me want to vomit really
So then he tells me one of the things he likes about her is that she is prettier than me..can you believe that?? ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ok..that just flies over me..because, basically, the way he's described her, she's brunette, like me, wears glasses, like me, and is just taller than me..what the heck? ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYYYY..ok so that was not cool..and then he proceeds to tell me that he was not completely my spouse and that even on our WEDDING day he asked his best man what he was doing..well isn't that nice to hear 20 years later? (wonder how many slaps in the face I can take before my head explodes?? Obviously at least one more
I told him at that point that I Didn't appreciate him talking to her on his cell phone while he was home and that it was disrespectful, but, do you know what he said? He said, "that's too bad, that's how it is going to be"..what do I do about that? I guess nothing..I mean what the crap????????? I said, ok you leave the house at 7 a.m., don't get home until after 9 p.m., if you haven't talked to her enough during that time then you just need to go ahead and move in with her and stop being that disrespectful to me..and he's like, "I'm working on getting out of here as fast as I can"
Then he threw IN my face again about how I kicked HIM out after talking to him the Sunday before he left..what the crap?????? I mean I guess now I"M the bad guy, makes it easier to deal with doesn't it?
So then I tell him that even someone he is not that fond of that he would not treat this disrespectfully and that he KNEW that I did nothing to deserve being treated like this and that even, after all of this has gone down, that 95% of the time I am still a decent, kind person..
So now he's like "well you won't hear another word out of me until I'm out of the house"..and I'm like, "what happened to being a decent person" and he's like "that's out the window"..and then to "well maybe I'll just pack my "sh.t" and move out while you are at work one day"..very nice and classy eh?
Actually, at the point we were talking about the OW, I said, you know what, YOU are not the person I married and not even the person I knew 6 months or a year ago..I said, "I don't like this person at all right now because THIS person is selfish and this person cares more about himself than his family"..and I Told him that I didn't deserve this and I didn't deserve to be married to someone who would treat anyone like this..and I told him he was STUPID to give me up..
But I told him, even knowing that, knowing how much I Didn't like him right now, that if he figured out that he was stupid that I would still say, "ok..what would we need to do to work this out..for both of our sakes"..
So..there you go..my totally blown night..but, you know what, I feel okay saying some of the things I said, tho I know it was a total cheeseless tunnel..believe me I know..and so much was hurtful on his end to me..I didn't say anything that was hurtful to him..but I wanted him to know that I didn't need his crap and told him I was not really looking forward to his coming home any more than he was looking forward to coming home..so hopefully that caught him off guard a bit
Ugh..I hate that I blew it yet again..but again, I don't see it as all bad, tho I know it WAS bad..if that makes sense..it just really showed me what he HAS BECOME..and I don't like it very much at all..
To be honest, right now, he can't get out fast enough, because it's too much crap and drama with him being here..
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
