You never know who is capable of commiting suicide, so don't let that be a prerequisite.Always side on the precautionary side.How would you feel if he actually did do something?It does not matter if he is the father of your children. Yes he could be playing you, time will tell. Protect your kids, and yourself.Either way he needs to get some help.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
BBJ, personnally i think he's playing on your sympathy. but Ali and others have a point
i'd say, pick him up and take him directly to the hospital and have him admitted. force him to call his own bluff. if he is as bad as he's saying, he needs professional help.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
BBJ, My H mentioned something about self-destructive behavior a year and a half ago and it worried me for a little while a go. He has a gun collection and he keeps adding to it. I'm not worried about him using one, but I was at one point. Fortunately H was in IC when he mentioned it to me. I agree that you need to ask Dan what exactly he is thinking. I don't think he would kill himself, but I don't want you to have to live with that if he did.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
You know BBJ, I am going to voice what is likely to be a disliked post here.
Reality, he may just be that depressed. His life is falling to shiite and he has put himself in a very bad position. He is failing and probably feeling that at every twist and turn in his life right now.
So reality, I think you did well calling the hotline and you do need to ask him straight out. Reality is if he is suicidal you may be the one stable person that he would reach out to. He knows where the one person who truly cares about him is. So do not ever take anything like that in jest and for God's sakes don't ever assume he is playing you. Because the one time you turn a blind eye and he does do something stupid, you would be the one paying for it emotionally for the rest of your life.
So kudos to you for doing the right thing. No matter what happens to us with our spouses, it is very important for us to continue to be the moral and ethical person that we want to be in our short time here on earth. You showed integrity and solid moral decisions today... Good for you not allowing the negativity or anger to control your true self....
You did the right thing in calling the hotline! A coworker of mine that I have worked with for the last 10 years, took his own life in our office just this past weekend (he was found by another co-worker on Monday)! We are a company of only 30 employees so we are close knit, and none of us saw it coming, or would have thought this person would be the type to do this. He left no note or anything. So, don't second guess yourself at all!
Take care!!! (((((())))))
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
You know BBJ, I am going to voice what is likely to be a disliked post here.
Reality, he may just be that depressed. His life is falling to shiite and he has put himself in a very bad position. He is failing and probably feeling that at every twist and turn in his life right now.
So reality, I think you did well calling the hotline and you do need to ask him straight out. Reality is if he is suicidal you may be the one stable person that he would reach out to. He knows where the one person who truly cares about him is. So do not ever take anything like that in jest and for God's sakes don't ever assume he is playing you. Because the one time you turn a blind eye and he does do something stupid, you would be the one paying for it emotionally for the rest of your life.
So kudos to you for doing the right thing. No matter what happens to us with our spouses, it is very important for us to continue to be the moral and ethical person that we want to be in our short time here on earth. You showed integrity and solid moral decisions today... Good for you not allowing the negativity or anger to control your true self....
(((((((BBJ))))))
I will echo that one! And as is usually the case with Ian, I would not have been able to say it better myself.
You don't surprise me a bit BobbiJo. You are outstanding. The Lord in Heaven loves to watch you shine the way you do. You will be blessed many times over my dear. You just keep being you. And watch and wait cuz you are going to see miracles.
I will be praying for Dan of course and for you and the kids. The spiritual battle wages on. We don't stop until the devil is driven out. Amen.
BBJ, Dan may well be having 2nd thoughts and confusion because he's holding on to what he may loose in terms of money, family, etc. His suicidal feeling are probably also very real. Let's face it many of the LBS here felt this way or probably will feel this way at one time or another while going thru' the pain of separation or D since its not of our choosing. I see him as a sick man given how convoluted his thinking and behavior has been. I think you are doing the right thing by keeping an eye out for him doing something rash as well as taking some action to look out for yourself financially, legally and emotionally - you will potentially be impacted in a BIG way in all these areas. So I think while you have some sanity left getting the accounts and credit cards in order and consulting (not retaining yet) a lawyer is prudent, even if you have to grit your teeth to do it - I wish I had done this myself. I believe he has a right to come and go to the house as he pleases as there is no legal separation in place. Perhaps by God's grace he may agree to get help for himself and also go to MC before its too late - hope for the best but prepare for the worst. When you feel down be with someone or pray.
...Dan is playing a game.. 