OT, I have to call her back tonight. Not looking forward to the convo, as she said more than once while inviting me that "she would understand if I didn't go, but wanted to be sure that I knew that I was wanted." I don't think that was code or something, either - I really think she wants me there. But I don't know how much she really could understand where I am and why I'd rather not go. And I'm trying to look at my own motivations for why I would like her to understand the truth...
