JonF - the sitting back and waiting through the affairs is the hardest part. I think W has been with this OM since before the bomb was dropped nearly a year ago. I do not think W will ever see any concept of what she has lost. Maybe we didn't have a great marriage, but it was steady and reliable.
I did not bring up OM with D3. D3 mentioned something about "Buddy" (thinking it was someone at school) and she replied "Buddy is mommy's friend who she sleeps with" - I was furiuos for the past week trying to convince my W that I should not be learning such events from my D3 and that my W's morals have become nill and bad influence on my D3. I have expresssed my anger toward W over this issue and impact on D3.
As far as going dim. I agree with you depending on the situation. If W is not seeing anyone else then I agree with you. But If they are serious with OM, then going dim makes it eaiser to continue the affair without any guilt and without any interference - thinking that if it doesn't bother you, all the better. My W even wants me to date others so I can be happy too - and thus also leave her alone. It's just not right.
Me:40 / W:33 / D:3 T:7.5/M:4 D Day: 1/24/08 Legal Separated: 6/12/08 BF who sleeps over: confirmed 11/10/08 Suspect BF pre-dates D Day
