Good news! I am doing a mortgage conversion and dropping my interest rate by 1.5%. That drops my payment significantly also, which gives me breathing room and I could pretty much afford to keep the place without help from H if he walks. I would still downsize some of the livestock to ease the workload but I wouldn't have to sell land.

I don't feel that H is walking out anymore, but I can't not let myself be dillusioned about if it could still happen. I have been working for years to get to this point financially, and here I am. Very tight but manageable I think.

H continues oscillating between moody/quiet/evasive and cheery/chatty/sharing. Or is that me? Hard to tell anymore if we are in coexistence or peaceful existence. When the opportunity allows I tease him about sleeping on the couch but if he ever decides to move back to the bedroom I wonder how we would handle that. Not losing sleep about it though! He takes it pretty good but sometimes acts miffed.

It's the first Christmas in a number of years I feel I am gaining momentum and confidence rather than feeling this is the last and being afraid of what the new year will bring. I hope this feeling continues and I don't end up in a big crash.

I was the designated driver for a Monday night football party. I got a free night out AND I won a digital camera! H was still up when I got home after midnight, he is always gone on Mondays for skiing so I didn't tell him I would be gone too. ;\)


Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.