I see you bending. This is one of the reasons I keep harping on it. I "see" the desire to make this work.. and I "see" the frustration of it not working. I can't tell you exactly what is wrong with the way you two are interacting.. but I can say that what you are doing over the past couple of months has stepped you both back some.
I also sense a little bit a sarcasm in your words there. I like it.
"I also gave him Bill's last post to read. He said he will need some translation... "
I suspect he would. All I can say about this is that you can't expect that he will read the words the way you do. It's like when I post here and confuse people.. they can't "see" the whole picture so the words don't "sound" the same. All I can tell you about him (Your H) is he is all of a sudden scared to death.. you know he is. I can tell that he is thoroughly confused about what he wants to do. Not so much on being with you.. but how to implement it. A Physical guy would come on too strong with the Physical stuff. He is holding back on the acts or the gifts. As I have said before.. you go with what you know.. that does not always mean you will do "whatever" over the top. You may just stop doing anything.
The only way I know how to relate it.. is from a Physical point of view.. which he is not. But.. if I was him.. and in his shoes.. and unsure of what to do.. I am either going to come across strong with the Physical stuff.. or I am going to stop doing anything about it. Depending on the reactions I get from you.. that is going to tell me where to go.
"I hate this. I am tired of him. Would it be too bad if I just gave up?"
Kalni.. you don't have to go.. go... go all the time. You know this. Right now I would Love to see you step back from this stuff. Somehow. Go back to the basics. Stop worrying about if he is going to step up.. stop including him in things.. just back up and regroup. We are just on the path to the never ending cycle right now. So if you can't lead.. and can't bend.. its fine.. just step back. Just focus on what you know can be good.
I have noticed your kids are starting to sense your frustrations too. Remember that vibe we give off.. effects everybody. Even if we expect it won't.
I read your last post.. Look.. It is clear whatever is going on here.. is not working. For either of you.. so.. the general rule is to do the opposite of what you normally would.. and monitor the results. Stop cooking.. stop touching.. just stop. Give yourself some room. It is almost like you are beating yourself up.. and then I am beating you up some more.
Enjoy your Christmas. Spend it with people that want to be close to you.
Merry Christmas.. Maria.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
