One minute at a time...then when things improve, an hour at a time...eventually it becomes a day at time. I promise you it does get easier and one day you will realize that you are going to be okay no matter what happens with your M.
Your H sounds very similar to mine. My H enjoys his solitude and independence but is also afraid of losing me. My H cycles where he will make progress toward me and then will back off. Little by little, things are improving but it is at a snails pace...so in the meantime, you need to work on yourself...find what makes you happy and learn to enjoy life regardless of what happens in your M.
This is a long process but if you can change your way of thinking and become independent yourself, someday you may actually look back on this time in your life and be grateful that this situation forced you to grow and find out new things about yourself.
I think your DB coach gave you some good advice about reaching out occasionally...BUT when you do, you have to with NO EXPECTATIONS...and that is the hard part.
This time of year can be so difficult for LBS's. Go out and do somethings to pamper yourself. Start some new traditions. Look up some friends that you have lost touch with. The options are endless if you put your mind to it.
