I know they aren't divorced. And being under faith that your marriage will be saved doesn't mean that life is on hold waiting for that chance. You make it happen. Men do not respond to kissing butt. They respond out of fear...fear of losing something they had. His e-mail indicates that he's questioning whether it could be over...it isn't a bad thing to leave him in doubt about where he stands. If SMW lets him know she's still on the hook...he'll be content to let her stay there while he figures out which of two women he wants more.
I understand your point. I'm just basing this on my own experience, going thru my sitch and God restoring my M, I did not get my H to respond out of fear. It's not about kissing butt though. she should never be kissing up, but instead IMHO she should show him how great her life is by her actions/words. by her not contacting him except on few occassions and the responses being only to answer him, does not really show him anything except that she's probably upset with him.
Now, I'm not saying this way won't work, I do not know that answer, only God does, but as a Christian wife, I know that God told me to be the best wife I could be and be the best person I could be and to let him go. If he came back, thank God, if not, I would still be okay as God was watching over me.
My reasoning is this. If there still is someone else involved, as we don't know if OW is still contacting DH, then IMHO, it is best for the LBS to look like the better option. The LBS is the small light that guides the WAS out of his fog.
SMW, I really felt things were going good before he left. sure he spent time with OW, so did my H, but he was getting comfortable with you, having fun with you and the kids. That is the beginning. Perhaps God needed H to fall a little longer. Sometimes he allows us to go thru hardships so that we can understand our weakness and that we cannot go thru this without him. Perhaps this time is also for you. To make you stronger, to bring you closer to Him, to bring a closer relationship between you and H.
I will continue to pray for all of you, and that you will make the right choices and receive patience strength and wisdom.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
