B, It is very difficult to understand your h right now because he's on an emotional rollecoaster, one that goes up and down within seconds. One minute he's talking rationally and the next irrationally. The statements he has made to you about being alone, etc. are all typical of someone in crisis and depressed. This is his journey and one all about him, no one else. You didn't break him, therefore you cannot fix him. He and God have to do this together.
You have to keep in mind that whatever he says or how he says he feels, they are his feelings of the here and now. Ten minutes from now, he could feel differently. It is important to validate what he's feeling and just let it go. You know what your marriage was like, therefore, you cannot buy into the garbage that he'll be spewing about it in the months to come.
Christmas is a very difficult time for them. It's all about family and having wonderful thoughts and having fun. The mlcer is depressed, feels like crap, has a lot of guilt and shame for what he's feeling and doing to his family, therefore, they tend to either crawl into their holes and disappear or create chaos on this particular holiday for they want you to feel just as miserable as they do. What should you do? Plan your holiday with family and friends. Do not make your plans around your h right now, for he may or may not participate in the festivities.
As for detaching, do not over analyze his every move or statement. He is seeing the world through rose colored glasses right now. Dig deep for patience, compassion and understanding, for your h is a lost soul.
Keep the focus on you and your family, for God will watch over your h.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
