H sent me a text a few minutes ago. How he hated life so much this morning (going to work) that if it weren't for the kids he doesn't know if he would be here.
I replied that I found that to be very sad when he has people who love him so much and want him in their lives, that it must suck to feel that way.
H replied that he has given up hope on ever being happy.
OK so how do you step back from the drowning man and just watch them drown when they are the father of your children?????
He is sinking fast here and I am not equipped to handle this...
H sent me a text a few minutes ago. How he hated life so much this morning (going to work) that if it weren't for the kids he doesn't know if he would be here.
I replied that I found that to be very sad when he has people who love him so much and want him in their lives, that it must suck to feel that way.
H replied that he has given up hope on ever being happy.
OK so how do you step back from the drowning man and just watch them drown when they are the father of your children?????
He is sinking fast here and I am not equipped to handle this...
First off..gather up the kids and go play with the cousins..
stop throwing him a rope..
let him flounder..
when he bottoms out he may just find he needs to see a professional..
until then..he will do what he does because he knows you'll come runnin..until you stop runnin to him he will remain the same..
you could always accidentally forward (oops! ) the text message to his mother. Since they are enablers, maybe they will be shocked enough to finally intervene.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
He needs to be lefted alone to wallow in his freakish misery.
I'm serious. You can NOT save him. He needs to do this on his own.
Right now it doesn't matter that he is the father of your children. It doesn't matter that he is your husband.
If you try to save him he will take you down with him and that does matter. You are the mother of your children. They matter first right now. You need to be stable and healthy to look after them.
BBJ - Please, please, please.....let it go. Dan is playing on your nurturing nature. He knows you will comfort him because you always do. DON'T!!! Trust me on this, I've been there. My XH was talking suicidal nonsense and I stepped in to try to "save" him because he is my son's father. I did it by contacting his sister and telling her what he was saying to me. Things spiraled out of control after that and nothing good came of it. Don't give him any help. Unless you see him with a gun to his head or a fistful of pills with a glass of jack to down them, DO NOTHING.
Take care of the kids and pray for Dan. He has to hit the bottom all on his own. You can't cushion the fall for him.
((((((((((BBJ)))))))))))
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
you could always accidentally forward (oops! ) the text message to his mother. Since they are enablers, maybe they will be shocked enough to finally intervene.
SMW
and don't forward chitt to his mom..she won't intervene on jack and will turn it on you.
My sisters friend killed himself after saying something similiar. My sisters BMF tried 3 times, again, similiar (there are "people that love you" doesnt seem to have any affect when someone feels this low and trapped in negative thoughts). My FF BFF killed herself after voicing that she didnt see the point in going on.
I know everyone is giving great advice.. but, if someone expresses suicidal thoughts, you should ALWAYS take it seriously. In Mishka's case, I told her the same, but then Gabe had the broom..yes it didnt come to anything, but its better to be safe than sorry. Dan has confided these thoughts in you and I doubt he would tell anyone else (like his Mum, or Tom etc).
I hear alot of angerness here on your thread Bobbi and I am not surprised after what he has put you through.. but there are also alot of Christian posters here and I want to say.. rise above his 'nonsense' and see that the man is in pain and troubled. Be compassionate, forgiveing?
You can tell him, with no emotion, that you take what he is saying seriously, that you hear him and are concerned at the things he says and think he should book a doctors appointment ASAP to get some help and advice. That you are always there for him if he needs someone to talk to. Leave it at that?
No matter what my ex has (unintentionally) done to me.. I see the desperation and pain in him, the severe depression, the torment and so I have never once gotton angry or resentful. I have been compassionate and forgiving to him and as much as it kills me, I want him to be happy. And I'm an atheist, so if I can do it...!
I dont think you should second guess yourself or feel bad "hes the father of my children".. if ANYONE said such things to you, we have a moral duty to take it seriously, IMHO.
) the text message to his mother. Since they are enablers, maybe they will be shocked enough to finally intervene.