I learned last night from my S7 that he's been keeping a secret that his mother told him. I'm not sure how long he's been holding onto this secret. In reality, it's not much of a secret as the W and I have openly talked about this anyway; but it's the thought of my S having to keep something from his father that his mother told him. Here's the details.
Last night, my D4 mentioned at dinner that she missed mommy. S piped in that he knew why mommy didn't stay at the house anymore and why she was getting her own apartment. Mommy has new friends, kinda like the friends that you have in school and she wants to live near them so she can hang out with them more often. she also has a friend that Daddy's not supposed to know about; but S said that he knew that I already knew about it. WTF?
So I asked him if he knew that it was against God's Will for married people to have BF/GF? He said that he understood that; and that mommy had told him that OM was just a friend. RIGHT??!!
so I made sure that I told him he was not in the wrong for keeping this secret. I asked him how he felt about all this; he replied that he wished mommy would JUST stay home. I told him the same thing I have told him before. Grown people are allowed to make their own decisions, right or wrong. We may or may not like their decisions; but it was called free will. He put himself to bed almost right after that.
I'm going to sit on this for a couple of days and approach the W about it after Christmas. For one, I don't know when she initially told S this "secret." But I want to handle it correctly; because I also have friends and don't want to seem hypocritical. But I also don't like having my children being forced to choose loyalty. That's fundamentally unfair for them. Make no mistake though, the W will have to discuss this.
