I'm glad your BFF spotted the pattern as we've seen it w/you as well. It sucks to be the one who is left behind b/c all you do is 2nd guess yourself to death.
It is quite unfair for us, to be honest, b/c they leave, we grieve, and then we get better and start to move on. At that moment, they come back and toy w/us again....but that only happens if we let it happen. So, the choice is up to us in the end.
You wrote:
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I hope he might be man enough to admit what I mean/meant to him one day too.
I would like to hear the same thing from my XW as would almost all of us here, I'm sure. The problem is we have to steel ourselves away from this type of "wish" b/c when it doesn't come, we're all disappointed. If we don't expect it, then we'll be pleasantly surprised if it does come and won't be disappointed when it doesn't.
Hang in there. The holidays are tough, but you'll survive this one and they'll continue to be easier and easier for you, I promise (or at least that's what they're all telling me, so I'm going w/it).
