It's still coming down. We have 12 degrees and wind. Brrrrr! Between now and Christmas we are supposed to get another 5+. It's a very good thing that Santa has such a warm suit, lol.
Yesterday was fine. Pretty stressful because I am so far behind and H had to plow up until the last minute. But everything went well.
He and I did get an opportunity to talk about a few things. He knew that the emotions and the stress of the day was getting to me...and he really put forth an effort to be reassuring and at the same time remorseful that he had caused this pain. At one point I asked him to put himself into my shoes, and asked how he would feel? He said that it would be terribly painful, and he knew that he had done something very wrong.
After we left the family party he still had a couple of places to plow, so he asked if I'd like to ride along with him. I did, and we listened to Christmas music along the way. We didn't do any talking while he was plowing, because it is pretty fast and furious and he has to pay attention. It felt good though just being together, and I could tell that he enjoyed me being there.
A couple of other things that I have noticed. He has started to tell me that he loves me again, and he is also referring to me once again as his wife. If that is all that Santa brings me, it will be enough.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Hope, that sounds like a great Christmas gift to receive! I am glad that your H was there for you yesterday. It is nice that sometimes the old H is there, or at least for me it feels good to know that under all of this going on, there is a bit of the old H. It sounds like yours too. You want to have the feeling that you can rely on them again. Or at least I guess I feel that way.
When we were at graduation, I was nervous about SD's mom and family being there and starting stuff because of H's A, with my parents there with us. H knew I was worried, and held my hand for most of the time, which was nice. I was nervous enough that my hands were sweating. Not sure why I got worked into such a lather, but it did. Probably because my parents only know we are having problems, not the extent of them. It was nice that if felt like H was there for me, when I needed him.
Sounds like you will have a white Christmas for sure! I think I want a white sand beach Christmas. I have thought about wanting to go somewhere warm for Christmas before, but being the only child, I don't think I could leave my parents alone for Christmas, I would feel guilty!
I am so envious of you, Hope! The things your H has been saying and doing is so encouraging! I guess it is an ebb and flow. He was frustrated for a few days, but now he's come back around. I'm sure it'll swing back the other way ( ) but you are doing really great!!
Hang in there!!
((((((hugs))))))
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
H was home when I got out of work last night. When I came into the kitchen there was a big, beautiful, fresh pine and flower center piece with candles in it, sitting on the breakfast bar. H was sound asleep on the couch. So I sat down on the love seat and waited for him to wake up. H slept for almost 45 minutes and finally woke. I startled him, he never even heard me come in.
He said that he knew that I would want the centerpiece for Christmas day when the kids come over, so he had gone to the florist and picked it out in the morning. He said that he had intended to have a glass of wine sitting by it waiting for me when I walked in the door, but he fell asleep and never heard me pull in the driveway. Heck, he never even heard me come into the house!
You guys.....this is my old H. He used to do things like this. This is the man that I fell in love with. It seems that he is really finding his way back.
I gave him a big long hug and thanked him for the arrangement and told him it was a wonderful surprise. I burried my head in his shoulder and told him that I love him. He held me tight and told me that he love me too!
Thank you God. If I get nothing else for Christmas I will be happy. This is all that I have wanted. What I had and took for granted before. I will be very thankful to have another chance at the love I had before.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
I am so happy for you Hope! What a blessed Christmas Wish you have! It is amazing, how you don't know what you had until it is gone. What a wonderful feeling! Hope, you give us all Hope! What more can we ask for!
Yes, we finished up SD last night. I just need to get two gift cards for my Mom and Dad, for eating places they frequent and I will be done. Not getting nearly as much as I have in the past. I am feeling better today, not as sad. When H left last night, I was a bit sad, was hoping he would fall asleep on the couch and he would stay, but he didn't, but that is OK.
Thanks for the Hugs Hope! I am glad you are getting hugs from your H too!!!
I am thinking that a white Christmas of White Sand, sounds great for me!
So glad that you are feeling better. It's easier to go thru the tuff stuff when we aren't feeling so sad. Taking one day at a time is the best plan. This year will be over before you know it.
I was just thinking, what do you think your H would do if after the Holidays you give him a choice? i.e. "her, or me?" I know at one time you mentioned that he would get angry if you did that, but what would happen after the anger? Has he taken any action about getting his own place? What do you think he would do if you cut him off, and he had to stay with her and kids for what he thought was it? If he had to live that life for a bit, and thought you were gone, would that shake him up enought to help him with the "decision?" Sometimes a guy has to "loose everything" (us too) to realize what they have. Just wondering.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
) but you are doing really great!!