Oh yeah, you are right on target with the holidays. Certain things have already changed to spice things up and be "different". My older D now has Xmas Eve where we used to. It is a bit of a jaunt, but its exciting to go to someone else's house for a change. D did it for me mostly.
I have D21 staying over because int he morning it will just be the 3 of us, me, D17 and D21. I am cooking breakfast and my son, his fiance and my grandson will be stopping by on the way to her mom's.
I have D17 wrapping presents for me and gave her a couple of bucks to go shopping last night for her mother. the joke last night was "Are you going to ask your mother for money to buy me a Xmas present?" Let me tell you we all got a big laugh out of that. There are serious changes obviously, that we will go through, we will have new traditions and I am leting my kids pick one tradition they want to start this year. that tradition will then be present until whenever. that way, the Xmas time and feel will have their respective personalities in it. trust me , my kids are like that.
W is gong to see things this Xmas eve that will set her back, worse than Thanksgiving. Not intentional, but things and traditions she had started to last forever are now dead and gone forever. I loved Xmas Eve at my house, but I usually got feeling good. It will feel good this year to be on my game. I have done well in the presents department. I have kept to my budget and I am only off by about $50.
change is never easy whether it is at business or personal. But change is imminent. My D17 wasn't into it, the new furniture, the getting closer, wrapping presents for me today, making cupcakes to take with us to her sister's. she is definitely getting into it becasue she sees me getting into it. She knows I am in a lot of pain, but I smile and I laugh, I call her peanut now for absolutely no reason. She smiles when I cal her that. I am actually excited to see my W. I really am. Thought about her and asked Him again to watch her and help me forgive. Overslept, damn....
Side note for everyone, went over her BFs house last night. We are close also and I haven't really sat and visited with them since this whole thing went into the crapper. So I went over and we talked for about 3 hours. We did not talk about the sitch at all. this is a concversation I get into with no one. Again, I have a theory on opinions. Anyway, after the hello's was "How was your soiree?" I asked what she was talking about, she said " The dance date you went on?" I said it was fun, she got there late. I was busy talking with someone else and enjotying myself. I said Hi to her and we talked. But thats it. "Why?" She said my D17 as going on and on about my date coming up a couple of weeks back. W was present. I know D17 did it to get to her Mom. She is trying to get her mother jealous. I know this. Yes it was kind of going to be a date. But again, I got the Word from Him, that is not the path He has chosen, I need to politiely discontinue these efforts, move my wedding ring and keep to me. That is exactly what happened. I did not tell my W's BF that. She was very interested in my "date" she said it is a difficult thing to hear, that "D" word. I sadi divorce she said know, Date. I immediately knew why she was interested. It apparently slapped the W when she heard this. then the week that folowed I planted the kiss on her. I am sure her head was spinning with that mess.
It was a great visit i drank coffeee after many offers for beer, wine a drink....Talked about my plans for the house, projects, my new furniture, Xmas shopping, my camper....All the things I am doing. W was not mentioned. But I am am sure there was enough said to get back to her. especially about the "DAte". I do not wish to play that type of card. It definitely had an impact on W though, otherwise the BF never would have mentioned it. And it was the very first thing that was mentioned, from over a week and a half ago. Apparently D17 brags about me like crazy when she is over there with her mother. Nice to know.
Anyway, things are going good, didn't finish my shopping, visited with these friends last night. D17 is wrapping most of the presents today, I will finish my shopping at lunchtime. I will have all my stuff wrapped r at least ready to wrap tonight. My son and I will move the couch from my office and get all that squared away tonight. I hate to ask this but I think you all knew it was coming, Any thoughts on what my W was thinking when she heard I was going on a date? I know no one can absoutely for sure say what was going through her mind, but when I had mentioned that I needed to kiss her last week, I didn't knw why. Now i do, she thought I was out with someone else, moved on, didn't want her and then she gets a kiss. She sounded very sad on the phone yesterday...Just wondering if the jealousy thing does anything. I honestly think it would work against the sitch, so I don't play it. And since I am definitely not looking at any level...Well....
