Partner left after 9 years - now what?

[AliSuddenly]

Hey boys! Hey Essie! Thankyou for posting...I am ok, I had some lovely red wine with BMF last night and laughed ALOT! His W wasnt drinking, but they seem ok now, thank goodness...

I understand this, let him do his journey, do yours, but I dont thikn I can quite 'let him go' and have no contact with him. I think the plan is to not contact him, let him do the intitiating and if he does, accept it with grace and warmth, but thats all. And yes, no more questions about Helen! Arrgh!

My BFF spotted a pattern.. every time I see him/speak to him, I am on my knees, emotionally, for about a day and a half, and takes me at least 2 days to stop feeling desperate and churned up and tearful and ok again. My BFF just sent me a Christmas card that made me cry. In parts, she said:

"You've acted with such grace and dignity in all of your dealings with *ex*, I'm in awe of you for that...

..I cannot imagine life without you, you are a very special, wonderful and lovely person. I'm sure in time your self esteem will return, until then you'll just have to take it from me.. You're fab !!"

...I hope he might be man enough to admit what I mean/meant to him one day too.