I made it to my parents house tonight. We watched "White Christmas", love that movie! It is a very lonely time for me. Sometimes it just feels like he is on a trip or something & will be home soon. Although when he was on a trip or I was here without him we called each other all the time. I just really miss him!!
I'm trying to think of other things but it sure is hard!!
Thank you for your support, that helps me more than you know! (((HUGS)))
I am glad you made it to your parents safely. I, too, love that movie.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Thank you for checking on me!! Yes, the holidays are hard. My Mom started talking about my H yesterday, she just gets so angry & upset, she still can't believe that he could or would do something like this, he was such a special person & she said everyone could tell how crazy we were about each other. I know she needs to talk but sometimes I have a hard time dealing with it. I usually just listen & try to change the subject when I can. Then, last night I was looking for something in a drawer, I saw a picture album & opened it, it was my wedding pictures. He looked so good!!! I didn't look at them, only the first one.
Today after church several of us went to the nursing home & sang Christmas songs, it was very sweet & those people just loved it. That made me feel pretty good. There is a guy who came with us that is married to my cousin, he & I used to date. Anyway, he has been so supportive, told me today that they were thinking about me all the time, they just hate it so bad what has happened.
Thank you all for being here for me!!!! I wasn't going to get on line tonight but just felt like it, I'm glad I did. You all mean the world to me & I really appreciate you being here for me!!
Hi Nit thank you for asking about me I am ok, just bruised and stiff,nothing broken. Holidays are hard and in the grand scheme of things it is still early days for you. It will get better as you continue to take small steps to GALing and you pass the hurdle of each new "first" alone. My X has been gone and remarried for quite a few years now and people still say they can't understand it but it is what it is and for the most part I am fine just days like when I fell I get cross and think this wouldn't have happened had H been here. I grieve for my children and especially my g/son who will never know his g'dad, but he has so many others who love and adore him. The kids appear to be fine so I must be too. Enjoy the holidays as best you can and stay strong. Good for you not looking at the photo's one day you will be able to look back and remember with joy those happy times but not yet. Take care.
NLT, This time of year brings all of the memories back to the forefront of what we have lost. It's the "family time" of the year and that's why it hurts the most because your spouse was part of the family and now he/she is missing. N, it will get better in time. The pain will ease, but the scar will remain as a reminder of what has happened. In time, that reminder will become a dull reminder as well.
I'm glad to see that you made it to your parents safely and will be there for the holidays. You need to be w/family for now. It's important to be w/people who love and care about you. Your mother needed to talk about the situation because she doesn't understand why your h did what he did and the only way to put the pieces together is talk about them, at least for her. She may not realize just how painful it is for you to talk about it and maybe you need to carve out a bit of time to sit down w/her and just talk. Parents have a way of helping us through this if you will allow them to do so.
N, I do hope you have a Merry Christmas. May 2009 bring a new beginning and many surprises your way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for posting to me! I am so glad that you were not hurt any worse. It is scary living by ourselves like that. One time I slipped in the bathroom & thank the Good Lord, I was so close to hitting my head on the toilet, if I had done that it would have knocked me out for sure. I was sore for several days but I'm so glad it wasn't any worse.
I'm doing my best to stay strong & when I think about H, I try to just say "I forgive you" I feel that is what I have to do right now. I was a little surprised to find those pictures, my Mom is so upset with him that she put everything up, but I didn't look & I sure hope one day they will turn into happy memories.
Thank you so much for posting to me, I so appreciate your wise words! It was just 2 years ago that my H gave me a 2007 Envoy Denali for Xmas & a leather coat. He sure wasn't planning this!!
I do try to let my Mom talk & she has been so helpful & so supportive!! I have wonderful parents!!!
Today I went shopping with a friend, she still needed a few things for Xmas so I went with her. We had a good time, we have known each other since we were 4 years old. She was the one that stayed with me when my H came & got his things out of the house. Her H is having a bunch of friends down at his parents lake house this Saturday & she has invited me to go, so I am. She said it would be couples & singles. I think it's her H's classmates. I really enjoy spending time with my parents but I think this will be good for me to get out & socialize a little bit.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas also!! 2009 has to be better!!!
