I'm back after finals and eventhough the end of the semester is tough, I do hope you join us in the teaching ranks. We need people who want to be here w/kids and male role models are at a premium.
Also, I'm very happy to hear you kick starting finishing your PhD again. Keep after it while you've got it on your mind. Strike while the iron is hot and get this off your "To Do List" asap.
I'm still so proud of where you are right now and I understand your pain and emotions right now. It is very high and low for most of us a we're adjusting to the newness of everything in our sitchs.
I personally think your journaling is good. It helps to get everything out. Just remember to put out your thoughts and don't analyze the situations or discuss expectations of your W. Keep the focus on you and you alone.
Also, you mentioned wondering why W is acting different to you recently, but try to step out of this trap. It just sucks you in emotionally to what she's doing. It is hard and I'm sitting here as someone who couldn't do it myself, but keep the focus on you and your boys.
BTW - for what it is worth, she's acting the way she is b/c you are no longer acting the way she expects. Your changes have helped to disarm her and you've taken back some control so she doesn't know what to do. Stay as dark and distant as possible and keep working on you. She'll come back as needed, but you've got to keep the oven mitts on b/c you'll get burned if you aren't careful.
You are doing great and I'm glad I've been able to give you a weapon to use when you are feeling weak. I had many weapons given to me by my wonderful, loving friends here on the boards, so I'm glad I could pay it forward and I hope I can continue to do so in the future.
Finally, when you had S2 and you weren't sure if you should initiate contact or wait for her, remember ALL BETS ARE OFF WHEN IT COMES TO THE WELFARE OF YOUR CHILD. That being said, what would you want W to do if she had the "sick" S2 w/her? I'm guessing you'd really appreciate a status report on how he is, right? Just something simple in a short e-mail or text ("S2 is doing great w/no fever" or "S2 hasn't had any problems, is acting normal and seems to be ok"). Doesn't have to be long or deal w/anything else than the health of your boy.
If my XW tells me D is sick, I check up on her via text and XW will respond. It should be a courtesy and the one time it is OK for you to break the contact/no contact rules of DBing.
Again, keep it up, my brother. I'm impressed w/your progress.
RTL PS - I did get your personal e-mail and info. Did you get my reply?
