Hi PM, I also post in marriage builders and they look at turning him in as helping him reach bottom. I felt like you but I do have to look at this from another way. Do I continue to go to work and watch this and know how disrespectful it is or do I go forward ethically and do what is right. Here is one of the posts I received over there. Harsh yes, but some good points.

I guess the real question here is do you want your H back in your life or do you want to keep your current lifestyle and become a zombie who drifts through life numb because you will no longer be cared for by this bum? You may still be married to him, though eventually he's going to get tired of paying for 2 homes, especially if OW moves in with him, and tell you you're on your own anyway - and then you'll really be unable to afford the mortgage.

So your choices are:
(1) pretend he's gonna keep taking care of you guys and you keep quiet at work and eat yourself alive watching him scr&w every woman who catches his eye, since you're doing nothing to stop it. But you'll (maybe) get to keep living in your nice house, right? That's important...Oh, and your daughters will watch you cave and hate themselves and you for it, and subconsciously decide they deserve no better, and they'll go on to continue your tradition with getting abused by their husbands. But, hey! You get to keep living in a neat house! (until he stops supporting you cos one of the OW won't let him)

(2) Respect yourself and teach your daughters to respect themselves by throwing him out of your lives until he sobers up and agrees to no contact with OW, no affairs ever, total transparency. Move into a smaller house or apartment, rent that one out, teach your daughters high ethics, and watch them blossom from seeing your strength and self-respect and go on to protect themselves like you did. differently.

Me 53
H 50
D16, D29
M 22 years
bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H
8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also
bomb II - H moves 10/1
expose ow 10/22
D to be final 9-09