A lot has happened during the past few weeks. I have truly realized that this is ALL about H and NO ONE ELSE ! The ow is just a distraction and someone who is being USED by my H. I truly feel sorry for her, for she probably loves him very much and is too scared to let him go, for all the obvious reasons.
I have been to see H's and his ow's new house. He invited me and made sure the ow was gone when I came over. She has NO SAY in that relationship. It is all him. I have found out that every morning she runs his bath and makes him coffee, then she leaves for work, whilst he enjoys his morning before going off to work himself ! They are expecting her family on Christmas Day, but he is planning to come over on Christmas day to have a brunch with us. She will drive him here and pick him up later, as he has lost his license for 2 weeks. She does EVERYTHING for him.
And the thing is I realized that I do the SAME !!!!! I still try to do everything, SOLVE everything, H must feel like a GOD. At this moment I no longer want to be that person, at his beck and call...I feel that I deserve more respect. H is not giving the ow or ME any of that. Yes, he takes good care of the kids and me financially. And yes I am greatful for that. But any decent person should take care of his children.
I feel that this is the BIGGEST epyphany (sp?) that I've had. Why do I so desperately want this man back in my life the way he is???? My life is so much better with out that kind of a person in it. He can offer me nothing right now, all that I hoped to get from getting back together was just in my mind, wishful thinking, a happily ever after idea...but not the reality of it.
I am no longer envious of ow having H. She has a terribly sad life right now, and the poor girl has no idea of the sacrifices she's making. For now it may be blissful, but in time they will both realize the inevitable.
For me...well, I no longer feel like being someone to please H, I just want to be me and live MY life the way I want to live it. I still love him, but the wishing him to come home is over.
You see the man I used to know as my H is gone. And the woman I used to be with him too !
For now, I just want to wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Last edited by Cinderellaman; 12/22/0809:15 PM.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders, I have to agree w/Jack. You will find your glass slipper in 2009. You went through a tough melt down, only to wake up from the terrible dream, to realize it's all about him. Cinders, I've always said and continue to say, be still, wait paitently all will be revealed to you. You have been given a very special gift this year and that's to see and now understand what the ow is to your h. She's his maid and yes, she's given up a lot of herself to him. Unfortunately, she will not realize this until it is too late.
Cinders, you do not need to cater to your h any longer, as you've seen recently. He's got someone else to do it for him. Now, it's time for you to be the person you were meant to be...strong, independent and compassionate. Be all that you can be. Spread your wings and soar!
Merry Christmas, Cinders! I do hope that you and your children have a beautiful holiday! Look to the new year, for there are many surprises coming your way!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Now that is really and truly detachment. Good for you! Kind of makes you see him through different eyes when you see how he allows that ow to do everything, ya know?
