Tower

[Jayce]

Hey #5, guess I wasn't the only one up late last nite. Big mistake, had Spanish coffee for dessert. Didn't think to ask for decaf. Finished it around 7, didn't fall asleep till 4:30. Paying for it today.

All this time, I've considered going to counseling by myself . Have you? Especially a couple months ago with the tantrums about the sleep apnea & the CPAP (whicn, BTW, he's using most of the nite w/no problem the past 3 weeks). If I hadn't come across the book about dealing w/passive-aggressive man I would have. That helped to understand his actions/reactions & which parts of the "Getting Through...." book worked best. It has also helped a LOT to have you fellow sufferers to vent with. I wish there were a "Getting Through to the Woman You Love" book for you guys.

In the back of the book is a quote from the tombstone of an Anglican bishop in Westminster Abbey:
"When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided only to change my country. But it, too, seemed immovable.
As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.
And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world."

Of course, when we're young, who knows anything about changing ourselves, like how or into what. Who knew we needed to? We thought we knew everything.LOL The quote does cause some thoughts tho, not the least of which is, just how big was that tombstone & who did all that carving??? And left out the bishop's name!

In any case, it's possible that going to counseling alone would eventually help you have some peace of mind regarding your needs, your relationship and your decisions about your future. I know our SSM's & HD's take over our thoughts, feelings, skew our perspectives. A real face to face session with a live "sounding board" who knows how to help us keep our thoughts on track and clarify our goals is lots better than living with our own thoughts caroming around in our skulls like squirrels on speed. So many times we realize what we think about something when we hear ourselves talking out loud to someone else.

Have a good Christmas & Happy New Year.
J