Beth, You are doing more than well - you are maintaining perspective of yourself - and that is so vital - since getting sucked into the perspectives of a troubled mind can only make us tumble.
Your H does seem to have a combination of MLC and depression going on - and I think you're doing everything you could possibly do just be learning more about what he might be going through - and knowing that you have to take care of yourself - since you cannot love him into being healthier.
My wife gave me that same "soul mate" line - and then added that the next person she's with won't be as "smart, handsome or successful as you" - but turned those three qualities into negatives in the very next breath - adding - "but people like you want someone who just caters to them, and I can't just cater to someone anymore."
Listen to the internal dialog as he talks around you - but just remember he just wants you to hear it - not repair him - not disagree with him - not show him a better point of view - not convince him - he just needs to swim through that serpentine river until he gets out of the brooding gloom of that jungle (with all due respect to Joseph Conrad)...maybe he'll make it out, maybe he won't...but loving him also means loving yourself enough to keep living you life to the fullest - so that when/if he comes out - you're there as a whole person...not a fraction of yourself - and that's where I think you're doing great - because your strength and resolve to move forward always comes through in your words.
Smile, Beth. Sit up and smile. I am certain there is plenty in your life that merits your joy.
