Now She's Confused.

[Jeff3]

Hey Guys

We Just finished cleaning the house together and that went well, sat at the talbe together and ate lunch that she made. Soon we will be shopping for food together.

She hasn't brought up the chat we were supposed to have, Do I bring it up?

Last night we set up the tree together and that went well. We had a glass of wine toegether and I commented that it was good. She threw out that it was a 40 $ bottle that her "friend" brought over the other night. She could read my body language and said are you mad? I said no but you know how I feel about the situation and that havinging him over was cheeky. She again said nothing is going on and that it was her house too so it wasn't a problem. I just said you know how I feel about this and left it at that. This is a flip flop from the other night were she was begging me not to be mad and now she thinks it's ok. It's like she is two different people aon different days.


As well this morning she talked about going skiing together tommorow. she said it may be wierd because we are breaking up. It looks like the weather will be bad tommorow so not going to happen. Instead I am going to visit My parents because I won't see them at christmas.

This back and forth is tiring, one day she is openly questioning the next she shuts it off.

Any suggestions? I feel like just putting the wall back up and preparing for the separation!


Jeff

[fisherman]

No don't bring up the chat, just chill.

Yes they do act like a couple three different people. It's all a part of it.

My wife just left a few minutes ago. She was flirting with me hard. She reminded me of a school girl. I flirted with her back, but I had a cocky edge to myself, kind of like a careless type of attitude.

Don't get sucked in man. It's a CRAZY back and forth dance. The part about her mentioning breaking up after she just invited you to do something is a button push, she wanted a reaction. Mine tried this today too. I just started joking with her and acted like I didn't care.

Hang in there man, yes you have to look out for yourself, but at the same time you can't make them aware of it.

[Jeff3]

Hey T,

Thanks man I won't say anything, had a pretty good night we just had her mother, sister and sisters husband over for a birthday dinner for her mom. We joked and laughed and my W even brought up some funny stories about me from the past.

We are now going skiing in the morning, I am looking forward to it because I like the out doors. She is excited because she just bought an overpriced ski suit. She made some jokes about it was weird that we are separating but we are going skiing together. I just said no pressure we are going just to have fun.

Not sure what to make of it but I am trying to show her that we can have fun together.

The only thing that pissed me off was that she called her "friend " in front of me to tell him about her new suit. She did tell him that I was going skiing with her. I said nothing and she said I know you don't like him but he is my friend. Again I gave her no reaction. Either she was trying to push more buttons or trying to show me that they are just friends (whatever).

I am to the point if nothing happens I am fine with being by myself at least I won't have to hear about her "friend". My plan is to go skiing have fun then back off for a bit and see what happens.

Thanks
Jeff

[fisherman]

Hey Jeff,

That sounds like a plan, just have a great time and don't give her any fuel for the fire. Act as if her "friend is a nobody."

That should be easy enough. That is exactly what he is.

[Jeff3]

T,

Just got back from a day of skiing with my W (weird) but somehow it worked out that she wanted to go and that we could. It was kind of spontaneous. The day was awesome we took some lessons together had lunch in the chalet and did a whole lot of laughing and joking. Not one argument. It was about an hour and a half of being in the car together each way but we chatted and listened to music. She still had to thow in the separated stuff but I just brushed it off. No OM "friend" talk either.

She thanked me for the great day now I am going to see my parents and take them out for dinner. So all the way around the weekend worked out.

Not sure if this little trip did anything to my W but it at least showed that we can have fun together and enjoy each others company. As I said before, now I go a little dark. I will pop by to her mothers at christmas for some free food and to see everyone then go to work. I won't pursue her or follow her around. I won't initiate contact and just mingle with everyone else. She tossed out that if we wanted we could do a little stocking for each other but no presents. HMMMMM? Thanks for the boost about OM it helped to put him out of my mind at least for the day.

Cheers
Jeff

[glamgirl]

Wow Jeff sounds promising. Stockings? Was that a hint or what. She was a stocking from you, but no present. Is that kind of like, I like hanging with you but not M to you!

Keep doing what you are doing. These MLC's are so strange!

[Jeff3]

Hey Glamgirl

Thanks, I hope I am making progress, My mother in law suggested that perhaps she is slowly doing things with me but at the same time reminding me that we are separating, to save face. By saving face she means that because of how my W treated this year she may think that we can't get back together (make sense?)or why would I take her back?. Anyway I think I will do the stocking thing and will see how christmas goes.

She texted me this morning with a little joke that we had a laugh about yesterday while skiiing. Then she called me twice for no reason. She just called again but this time I did'nt pick up.


There is no reading her mind so I will prepare for the worst , hope for the best and keep on doing what is working!

Jeff

[job]

Jeff,
You are doing very well! Keep your expectations at zero and continue doing what you've been doing. She feels extremely comfortable and safe w/you and that's a huge hurdle for her to jump over and recognize.

I think your attitude is spot on.

I hope that Christmas is a good one for you this year. I'm hoping and praying that she will come back to earth in 2009 and begin to see the light and realize what a wonderful man she has waiting for her return.

[Jeff3]

Thanks Snodderly and I hope you have a great Christmas as well

[Jeff3]

Crazy thing just happened my W called and asked if I was going to her mothers for christmas. I said I would like to but how do you feel about that? She said I would like you to be there (WTF)

She also said that she would like to do stocking for each other, I said yes. We joked a little about how her credit card is getting ready to melt. I didn't want to sound too excited so I tried to be upbeat and ended the conversation by saying I have to get ready for work. She wished me a good night at work. Now I am trying very hard not to get my hopes up but this could be good!!

My approach has been to let her lead with stuff like this and it appears to be working.

Another adventure for another day.