Divorced, but 'still hopeful' to reconcile.

[Phoenixdeux]

I'd like to interject one thing. Drop the "she's punishing me", type stuff. Drop the, "she's doing this" and attributing it as somehow related to you.

Still hopeful, this may hurt to hear, but it may be reality that she doesn't think about you one way or the other. She may be fine with her life. She may not care what you are doing. She may not even think about you more than once or twice a month. So, how about taking her actions as what they are...her doing something, without adding in, "to get my attention" or whatever.

Ever broke up with a girl? Can you remember her at all? Would it surprise you if you found out that your first girlfriend still wonders if you are doing x,y, or z to get her attention or because you are trying to punish her?

The point of all of this is that you have to just live your life. It's hard enough to live for yourself without trying to live your wife's life, at least vicariously, also.

Nothing in particular you do or say at this point will suddenly cause your wife to return. How about for the next month you just focus on living your own life and have an, "if it happens, it happens" approach to your wife. Guess what? It's okay to let her go.