A, Yes, your h is still in depression. He's running from himself and his issues. The hotels say it all. As for his health, well...let's wait and see what is going on w/that. They do tend to lie quite a bit and he's not the only one.
Do what you must to get through the holidays and make them cheerful and happy for your children. Your h so desperately wants to be a part of your life, but he doesn't know how to get it right. He's like a gerbil on that wheel that goes round and round and doesn't know how to get off of it. Unfortunately, you can't help him, but I do think his health is getting the best of him.
Yes, you have the best of this world, i.e., the love and respect of your children. Your h really has nothing right now, not even the MOW will fill the bill for him.
Merry Christmas to you too. I'll be here throughout the holiday if you need to talk.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
