My W is the same lost a ton of weight and I have heard she is smoking. she always hated that and really thin people. she looks like she has really aged in this. I have been told that women going through can show serious physical stress. she is. It is hard to get through and your mind believes the easiest way out is to just bounce. I was one foot there and AmyC and a few others convinced me to looka t what I want, not what other people say or what I hear she says, but what I want. It was then I decided to seek out god's help in this matter. I wanted to find someone to fill this void in me, I took my wedding ring off my left hand and put it ont he right. I was on my way to being with someone if I wanted and backed out. Put the ring back where it belonged and now hold firm to MY belief. It is god's will for me to maintain this path, now matter how many thorns I come across.
they will change. what they have done is a change and they think they need to do all the rest to make themselves happy. what I see now is that she drinks more, probably because of guilt, confusion and because she doesn't have to deal with anything. Bottom line is, she does, but she won't while she is in lala land. You need to not focus on her activities. you are being told this by a man who goes nuts trying not to, but I get thru it. Do not talk about it with anyone unless they are tight with you and will offer nothing but an ear. opinions are like a@#holes, everyone has one , don't care to hear 'em. I have some people I can bounce things off of. You are being too kind to her now, that is one problem. Allow your anger out. do not get crazy, but let yourself be angry, trust me your compassion is hiding it. You will get through the anger stage, it will make you strong enough to move on down the line. No one can really tell you what to do, you need to do what you feel is best for you. He will guide you and tell you the path hHe has chosen for you. Beware the traps on either side. Beware of friends who come to you bad mouthing her, they may be trying to suck you into a isutation that will justify her thinking, don't do it. It will play itself out. you will be better for it in the end, with or without her. I am the prize in my situation. all her frineds know , her family knows it, our family knows it but most importantly, I know it! I do not play games with her. I am direct and to the point. I am in a position now where she does not control the moment or my emotions. My emotions are still my weakness, but I keep them bound. everyday is easier, every night is harder. trust I know, we know. this is a marathon, not a sprint. It will take time for the fog to clear and for clarity to prevail. Get a hobby, get busy with housework, go for walks, join a gym and finding something to do at least once a month where you can get out and blow off some steam. that has been the most helpful for me.
