Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6

[sandi2]

Hi, excuse me while I hijack your thread to say something to SingleDad. I would go to his thread, but wanted this to be for you as well.

The idea about "not fighting" for the M......well, DB is fighting for the M but in a different way. What other way is there to fight for a R? Is yelling, crying, pleading, making demands.....is that what fighting for a M is? That doesn't work. Every single person that has come on this board who was a LBS said they did all of those things and not one person....NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON ever said it worked! So, that is not fighting......not in a productive way, that is. Going to the OP and getting into a fist fight or battle of words and threats does not work. Oh, if they are M and have a family and are just in an A for the kicks....they may get scared off, but have you won your spouse back? Not likely.

We also learn that in this route of DBing, it is also, if not mostly, about self survival and how to come out the winner in spite of what your spouse decides to do with their life. So, you have the best strategy either way.

I am not being sarcastic and hope this does not come across as sounding like that at all. But, it just struck a nerve in a way b/c I think that is how so many people see this.......just like SingleDad's mother sees it, as though he isn't doing anything. What they don't realize is that it is the hardest battle one will ever "fight".

So hang in there DBers. You are going to get through Christmas and you are going to get through this next year. You have the plan (DB), you have the tools (DB) and you have the support (DB Board). You will come out the winner if you decide to do so. It is up to you. Just as SingleDad said, he can't make his S stay with him or change her mind....neither can DB.....it is up to you. So I hope all of you will stay with us.

Sandi