SC sorry that you are struggling so. You can't believe anything they say at the moment. All you really can do is work on yourself and love your h from a distance.
Is not over yet, by a long shot. Just because someone wants out doesn't mean they can't change there mind. Your h is feeling at the moment he wants out.
Let him be to figure things out. No R talks, no desperate attempts to get him back, no putting on the guilt, no nothing. Just be kind and loving. That is the hard part right now since you are feeling so hurt yourself.
Step back and enjoy what you have for now. I have been at this for a long time. It has taken many baby steps back to the m. I am hopeful that my h will one day say honey I am home.
Don't stress about a possible D, it hasn't happened yet so no need to worry about it.
Just try to enjoy the holidays the best you can. Hugs!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"