MT, my friend, I'm glad that you aren't used to being sad this time of year. One time is forever enough. This year will be it. It will be different, but you are being tested by the fire, and you will be stronger and better when this is done.
I find that it helps to remember that our H's are also sad and in pain. It seems simple that they are causing the pain, so they should "just stop" and things will be good again, but what has happened can't be undone, and there is still pain that comes with each healing little step.
Be still right now, and process. I feel that is what your H is doing. I think that's why he has the "foul" moods. It's pretty obvious that he is starting to process some of this. If he were convinced he was doing the right thing, he would not even be looking back.
Hang in there sunshine. You are very loved!
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
