So I saved a draft of a reply to him I am sitting on it for now. It says
We are not 'stuck together for now trying to make this work'--We are not STUCK together marriage is a choice. And there is no 'for now'--marriage is not a 'for now' kind of thing. I didn't read anything about how much you love me and want me i only read where your life would be harder without me. I want my love for you to be a prize not something you settle for bc it beats the alternative
I am sending no replies. He is being such an a$$hole I just hate him right now. He has sent me 7or 8 texts in a row all angry.
*I am at least half responsible for our situation so I need to do half the work to fix it, I need to make REAL changes
*He is an intelligent businessman and he will not TOLERATE me getting in the way of his decisions that could make us money
I only texted him once, 'call me'
and his reply
*I am in a conf. call that i HAVE to take for a job I hate and HAVE to do for a boss I hate and a job I am stuck in. I will call when it is over
*sorry to interrupt your day off from your profession of choice and love
He is so angry so bitter I know he is just pissed b/c he doesn't like how his life without me looks but I am too young, smart, and loving to spend my life with an [censored].
BJ - I haven't ever posted to you. In fact I've been a little bit of MIA here on the boards the last couple of months.
After reading your thread this morning, I had to post.
You are giving this man way too much power over you!
Too bad if he's not getting what he wants right now. That is not your problem by any means, not matter how much he wants to try and make it your problem. He has said he doesn't want to be with you. He has moved out. He can try and blame these new circumstances all he wants on you. That doesn't mean its true. That doesn't give him the right to be disrespectful to you yet again. It's like a 3 yr old who is not getting his way. He figures the louder he gets the sooner he will get his way. Too bad if he has to rent a place until the D is final. Then that is what he has to do. That is what most people have to do. Unless you want to go in on this property with him and have it divided up as a marital asset. That is your choice to make, not his. You seem to be the one that is financially saavy in this relationship, if you think it will work to your benefit, then go in on it with him. If not, do not even discuss it with him. Woog is right, you need to talk to a lawyer and the sooner the better.
BBJ, there is one thing that Dan could be right about. You did help the M get to where it is. We all know that from experience a little too late. On the rest he is wrong.
You have changed, maybe not into what he wants but you have changed. In the last year a can't believe who strong you have grown. Maybe he doesn't like that you are becoming an independent woman.
He hates his job, so does my H. Not our fault, their problem not ours.
How about packing up his things for a Christmas present to you and him. Get him out of there BBJ.
Do you have school today? I'm sorry if so, my vacation started at the end of the day Friday. Two full weeks off!
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008