A Sailor's Christmas

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Hey, SMW! Just saw your post to my thread, and it looks like I'm late! Sorry.

I like your response to DH's email. It's to the point . However, I do feel a little differently where others have referred to DH's feelings as "drama". Drama or no drama, they are his feelings. This is something I have to remind myself about whenever I am dealing with my own H's feelings and the "pity parties" he throws for himself. If I don't address his feelings, then in some way aren't I invalidating him, too?

Just something to think about.

Duly noted. I am not seeking to invalidate his feelings. He can feel anything he likes, it would just be nice if he thought about someone besides himself once in a while.

And I was also wondering - when the kids say they will get back to DH "later", do they?

This is the first email he has sent specifically to the kids since he left. I was emailing him regularly about their days and he seemed not to give a crap--no responses, avoiding talking about them, etc.--so I stopped doing it.

Is there a limit to how many emails can be sent to DH? If not, could the kids maybe send him a short note every day (or every other two or three days) to talk about at least one good thing that's happened for them? At school, at home, at the playground, at dinner...?[/quote] This is the first email he has sent specifically to the kids since he left. I was emailing him regularly about their days and he seemed not to give a crap--no responses, avoiding talking about them, etc.--so I stopped doing it. He can receive emails as long as his mailbox is not full.

I know it seems like he should be the one doing most of the initiating, but what if you could get the kids to start doing this? What if it helped? What if it really is as you've told the kids...that Daddy can't always get through. I think he's missing his family.

JMO.

(((((((SMW)))))))

He honestly really cannot get a phone line out on a regular basis. I felt like sending all of the emails was like heading down a cheeseless tunnel--I did it over and over with no success, so I stopped. The kids do not ever ask to send him emails, I have to prompt them and they do not want to be bothered most of the time. I am not trying to punish him, I just do not want to be bothered right now. I have a lot going on--4 kids and the holidays--you understand I am sure. If he had truly expressed any prior interest in maintaining contact, I certainly would not question it now. Since he didn't, this is where we are.

SMW