He uses all those excuses. He uses the cricism to say I didn't support him, then that to say I withdrew emotionally. And yes while all that did happen, he just says it caused too much damamge and he doesn't believe he can get over it. Also he did some things himself that he believes I will never get over. Adding the two together. He just says we are broken. When I try to explain from my POV why I critized etc.. he doesn't get it. He only sees it his way so I have given up trying. I have come to the conclusion that he either does get it and will not admitt it or he just doesn't get it.
He really feels that we would just revert back to old ways. Because he is a "logical" thinker he says and he uses the "past performace predicts future behavior" arguement all the time. This is why I aslo believe he can not seperate his work life from his home life. As soon as I think he understands..then he just says.."well why did we ever let it get that way to begin with, and whose to say it wouldn't happen again". I think he is just very afraid. He doesn't want to get hurt..but then again who does. He thinks that the hurt he is feeling now will just go away when the D happens. He has said that... He wanted a great marriage but I think because it didn't turn out like he wanted he feels like a failure and so he needs to walk away and not risk failing again. It is always easier for him to walk away than to deal with emotions. That is why I have fought so hard.
I just don't know if he will ever get out of the fog. I think he would rather D and stay hurt than ever admit he made the wrong decision to walk away and leave. There is too much guilt there and he can not deal with it so he has to justify it so that he feels better about it.
I will be a better me. Thanks. Especially with the help of everyone here I am on my way.
