"I wish he had put his foot down" sounds like nonsense to me.
Nobody can force anybody else to face their responsibilities. It comes from within. Best anyone can do is show people.... - compassion for screw ups and mistakes - the right path - encouragement to do the right thing - understanding for ongoing escapades - a clear line on what is acceptable and what is not
I redoubled my efforts to help out at home, too, while at the same time insisting on no contact with the OM. You cannot blame a husband for that. You cannot blame the people who are being abandoned for trying harder to make it nice at home.
Trying harder does not have to be motivated by "fear". When I looked ahead at a life apart, I did not like what I saw. I preferred a life together. Is that fear? I felt like it was clear thinking on my part.
