Hello HH, we both have a lot in common, like most of us here. First let me tell you this, you cannot "fix " this, no one can. the more people try to find out what her "problem" is so they can help "fix" will just push her farther down the line. she does not see that she is any different or doing anything wrong. yes she is confused. My W dropped the bomb on me in august and devastated me completely. this site was suggested to me by a therapist. Since being on here I have learned many things, first, this has nothing to do with you, your marriage or your relaitionship, it is about her and her alone. You must learn to detach. I did it and it takes time. I also want to know everything she is doing, whats going on how she is feeling, but I withdraw from that feeling. I have started going to church and realized I needed to put this in His hands. It is a super hard struggle. I too am Xmas shopping. My situation is she is already out, has been since the end of August. Walked out on me and my kids. I have only one D living at home with me right now. W has OM which has been going on for about 5-6 months best i can tell. I am told often how miserable she is and how bad she looks. she is int he partying moment, 4 nights a week at least. I was into it with her and when the bomb dropped I came out of it. I was in MLC. that was my rock bottom. I no longer drinkl, occassional wine but thats it.
You need to GAL and you need to focus on you. I have and it does work, at the end of the day, you need to see yourself as the prize, not her...Good luck to you..
