Hi Beth, Detaching really is a long process - I suppose it has much to do with just how many years you've had to entangle yourself with another person - and sometimes it dawns on my that I've allowed myself to be very entangled with my W's wants and desires - and at the expense of my own - never quite realizing that each time I did that I allowed a modicum of resentment to build up in me...
I'm in my mother's house now - my S11 is still asleep - he and I both had the stomach flu over the past few days - which is one of the things that was on my mind in terms of my W. S2 had it first - and that's why I had him home with me - the day before he stayed home with me, I had let my W know that I was sick - and she never said anything about it - like being indifferent to my health was somehow a sign of her own strength...which is to say that she continues to show a flip side to herself - in which she puts on this act of being indifferent to anything and everything about my life...
I'm writing up a list of things I want to do more of in the year ahead - which is also like a list of thinking of the things I want to do less of...I'm going to take the next few months to look into teaching positions - and also some volunteer work.
While I've worked as a copy writer for about a decade now...since leaving graduate school...I've never really liked it...and so I'm thinking that I could go back to teaching and continue to write the screenplays, etc, but do so with a much more fulfilling life.
...just a bit about talking with my W last night...when I called her to talk with my S2, she was a cold and rude as ever - this time even getting annoyed with me for asking what she meant when she said that S2 was "still sick" - since he had been much better when he was with me on Saturday...it sounded like she was trying to blame me for his being under the weather.
Ah well...let her stew in her own anger...it's just not mine...there are too many things I want to do today with my S11 while we're here...and he's already itching to go out and play in the snow...even if it is only 6F outside...
